I was working for this famous IT Company and it was the day to release one of the main projects. It was co-coordinated with an office in Asia. The release had to happen on a Sunday, early in the morning at 2, which was Sunday, late in the afternoon in Asia (what a way to spend your weekend!!). They had sent this guy from Asia to assist us. We both were forced to be there just in case any technical problems popped up and attend the calls to co-ordinate the job in emergencies. Because of the time difference and the jet lag, he was finding it so hard to stay awake and as for me, I was extremely edgy having to miss the games of  beer pong tables with my friends. It made it worse to think the kind of fun they would be having without me. On top of that we didn’t even know when the damn call was going to be made.

Coming back to the Asian guy, we got along professionally but not on a personal front (we never got to venture into that level). Seeing him gulping coffee to stay awake, and me being bored to death, I decided to take the risk. I started talking to him and asked if he were cool to play something to while away our time. He seemed like he would do anything in this world to keep himself awake (thank god for small mercies!).

I asked him how about a few rounds of beer pong table game. To my amazement he was hearing it for the first time. How could one not play beer pong ever in his life, let alone, how could one not have heard of beer pong tables!! My weekends almost always revolve just around this game and here is a guy who never laid his hand on a beer pong table!

Anyways after briefing him about the game we began to play in my cabin. He turned out to be pretty good with his game and gulped on the beer. Few others who were free came in and set up their own beer pong tables. We both got so much involved in the beer pong tables game that we didn’t even hear the call. And then one of the colleagues came running in informing that the conference was scheduled in 15 minutes. But my friend here was so much drunk by now I doubted he was ready to take any call. Forget the official one he seemed too drunk to take even his girlfriend’s call. I swear to God, if I had known he had never had beer more than a peg, I would never have asked him to play in the first place. But how was I to know? Maybe it was the jet lag!

Whatever it was, it was not making it any easier for me. I had to drag him to the washroom (it was one hell of a task in itself) and force his head under the cold water. He snapped into reality (thank god again for big mercies!) I gave him one of my sweatshirts that I had stocked up in my locker for gym and managed to get us back in time for the call. Since that ended smoothly, he was now grinning broadly, asking how about another round of beer pong tables’ game. Huh! I couldn’t help but smile. We decided to get together again, this time outside of office, once he got over his jet lag.

Sleepless in Seattle

All have some of weakness in their life. I have mine too. I in fact have two – football and beer pong tables. I just can’t let go of both ever since college. I never miss a match of football. My favorite team is Seattle Seahawks. Although they had trouble to keep up their record for the past few weeks of this season, I know they are the best. I will vouch for them. They are the number one team this season.

Every night after work I head straight to my club to join my friends for the heated discussion on the game. Actually to play on the beer pong tables during a football season is lots of fun. The games at the beer pong tables all get spiced up even more, especially when you are playing against the supporter of another team.

It’s a good way to unwind the days’ tension at work. Watching the match with a cup of beer, discussing with your friends or any stranger, I just enjoy it. We usually end the night after few games at the beer pong tables. And we are all set for the next day.

Yesterday it was the same routine, except that this time I head straight to the Qwest Stadium to catch the game live. To watch the game live in the stadium has it’s own fun. It’s so dull to watch it at home with a can of beer. The club atmosphere makes a hell lot of difference than being at home, but it is not as appealing as watching it directly in a stadium of thousands. I was soon joined by my friends and there we were swearing at each other for every point earned by our respective team. Needless to say my Seahawks won the game. Ha! I had a good time ridiculing the supporters of the other team and they were pretty pissed off with me obviously. Then my friends challenged me for a game of beer pong and we head straight to our club which was close by. It was war of supporters of Seattle Seahawks Vs Chicago Bears at the club. The most beautiful part of this game was you get to drink to your hearts content and by the end of it no one would remember who won or lost. Well at least we never could.

But tonight we were in for a surprise. I think I was losing a lot at the beer pong tables and that’s when someone came and stood beside me. I dint want my Seahawks to lose at beer pong tables, no way, and I turned to ask him whose supporter he was and I was in for a shock, there stood the Stacy Andrews. My mouth gaped open for few seconds. He stood smiling looking at my face, and asked, “Dude, mind if we join you”. And hell, there stood so many stars of my game. Well, we started afresh. The games at the beer pong tables were never so much fun ever before. I do doubt if we would ever get to play with the stars. But it was one awesome night. We took loads of snaps with them and drank lot of beer, and it was one fantastic end to a fantastic day!

My friends and me love music, especially rock. We have our own band called  “Rock on”. But we never played professionally. It was our secret passion, a passion that we had yet not displayed to the world.

Initially when we started off, there was a hell lot of trouble. The trouble being that we were driving Ed’s parents insane with so much of noise. I agree the initial days were absolute pure noise. They never understood we were just starting out. But what did they expect? Mozarts by birth!!! But then I soon realized that it was simple generation gap…for them it will always remain “noise”. Well, at least our parents called it so. Finally seeing that we will never give up Ed’s parents converted the garage to a sound proof studio, for their own sake. His parent’s house was the biggest (read richest parent) amongst rest of our parents’ so it was natural we used to assemble in their garage.

Apart from playing the guitar and the drums we loved to play at the beer pong tables. It was our source to brilliance as Ed calls it. Every time we had a good game at the beer pong tables the next day our creative juices would be bursting to come out and we end up making good music, well, good enough for our souls.

Then one day I saw this ad in paper which called in for talents, and the prize money was $10,000. It was pretty cool amount to get us all the equipments and instruments that we so lacked in our studio. It was quite a good chance for us to showcase our talents as well. At least we will know where we stand in the eyes of a wider audience.

When I broke this news to my friends, they were of course excited about the prize money but not about performing. We had a not so awesome record of performing back in school; it was our first and last… till date. When it was time to perform we were all nervous, which I believe almost all would be but Ed’s nervousness-turned-phobia of people was quite infectious. And we ended up making noise rather than playing our favorite music. We found it so hard to face girls after that especially ‘cause we were trying to be smart in their eyes just a few days before that.

If we want to get new instruments this was our chance. We knew we could never earn this amount until we finish college. So we thought to take the risk again. Money and girls make you do stuff that you don’t really want to do. We decided to hit the club, drink beer playing at the beer pong tables to clear our head. And indeed we got the clarity of thought from our games and at the beer pong tables we decided to do it, enter the competition. We played the games late into night, skipped going to college and started working toward our prize money.

And the day arrived for us to perform and for our last rehearsal we got together once again in the studio and to our utter horror Ed was back to his infectious phobia of performing in front of people. Finally Ed decided to take solace in playing at the beer pong tables, our remedy to all our fears of life. We got so much competitive trying to beat the other at the beer pong tables that we forgot our fear. But what we didnt anticipate was performing after getting drunk. But it came out pretty well man! We hardly anticipated that. We had to be satisfied with $5,000 only. But it was such huge step for us. Thanks to beer pong tables, I still wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t hit club that day. Ed has already taken the oath to play beer pong tables before every single performance that he is ever going to make.

We met the next Saturday night, Jay and me. Jay is my Asian friend who had arrived in Seattle last week. He is my colleague-turned-friend. I had introduced him to the game of beer pong tables at our work place. It’s not surprising how he got hooked to the game. Apart from women, beer pong tables seemed to be his main weakness now. Well they are the weakness of almost all guys (that is, if they know how to play beer pong at the beer pong tables).

I came to know about his weakness for women when I took him to the Hooters. I couldn’t help but laugh out when I saw him blushing every time the waitress appeared at our table. She was Irene, one of my old acquaintances. When she was gone, he seemed unable to take his eyes off her. Man, some guys at times behave as if they have not seen women before. But I love this guy; he is genuine and fun to be with.

I decided to introduce him to our group and so that Saturday I called up all my buddies to play at the beer pong tables at my place. Needless to say it doesn’t take any persuasion, all you have to say, is the keyword “party” and all drop in. All brought in whatever stock of liquor that they wanted to clear from their cupboards and cases of beer. Within matter of minutes we were on our game and the beer pong tables. A party without beer pong tables is a strict no-no in our gang. We could go without girls for few weekends but not without our favorite beer pong tables.

Anyways, as the game progressed Jay was getting better with his game. And needless to say we were not quite happy with it. Agreed it’s not rocket science and you don’t have to be anything to play this game, but losing to an amateur is not something any self-respecting person would appreciate. And hell we were one self-respecting lot. Jay was having the day of his life until I came up with this brilliant idea. I called up Irene and told her to come to the party in her professional attire and promised her a good time and free booze.

Jay was unaware of Irene’s presence. When it was time for him to take the ball, Irene walked across the table and he missed his shot. And from there on every time when it was his turn at the table, Irene made her presence known to him and victory was ours! Lol! it was so much fun to see his face! It was another matter though that he hardly lost after that night. He was smart enough, and easily learned to manage both beer pong tables and girls at the same time. But by then he had attained the status quo of being a pro with us, so it was kind of okay for us to lose, and of course after few hours of the game, it doesn’t matter who wins, cause we are too much drunk to bother about it anyways.

There was this beautiful girl in my college. I had fallen head over heels the moment I saw her, yup, love at first sight. I just couldn’t get her out of my mind and the worst part was I never could muster enough courage to walk up to her and ask her for a date.

I had never asked another girl for a date before. I do find girls beautiful but not so charming enough to ask them for a date. I knew for sure if my friends were to know about this girl they are going to make my life a living hell. I dint know which would be the worst “ridiculing” friends or getting rejected. Well, in short I just killed both the desires although it was tough to get her out of my head especially since I keep meeting her in the campus.

One day I saw the notice for those interested in acting, to give their names. I loved to act, in fact someday I hope you guys would see me on the big screen. Well this has always been my secret fantasy, well not a secret now. It was one until that fateful day of our beer pong tables championship at our club. Beer pong tables have been my all time weakness. Since my head was full of beer my secret ambition just came out and I had to listen to all the crap that my friends later came up with. They never lost any opportunity to ridicule me whenever and wherever they please. Precisely for this reason I was hesitant about confiding with them about the lady of my dreams.

So I went for the audition and was selected for the lead role. I also had an ulterior motive, maybe, just maybe, she will see my act and will fall for me, who knows, anything could happen. But I was in for a shock when I went for the rehearsals the next day. The lead actress selected for the role was not the girl who was selected along with me but girl of my dreams. I stood there rock solid, unable to move when we were formally introduced. You must be thinking things had gone too smooth for me. Far from it buddy, not only was I unable to shake hands with her, I was finding it harder to deliver my dialogues looking into those beautiful eyes. My world seemed to be crumbling down.

I knew if don’t get out of this I’m in for a mess. I went back home all upset and that’s when my friends pounced in. Well I couldn’t pretend that all was well and I confided. Of course they didn’t lose the opportunity to ridicule me but then arranged for beer pong tables right then and there. As I already told you, it’s one of my greatest weakness. However much one is upset, it’s hard to say no to beer pong tables. It’s indeed a way of taking all the stress from your life. We were having so much fun but ran out of beer very soon. We wanted to play further so we head for our favorite club, where we mostly got together to play beer pong tables. It was the only place near my home where we could play the game.

As I entered my heart stopped, there she was, with her friends. I don’t know what got into me. I suspect its ‘cause of the game of beer pong tables we played few minutes ago. I walked up to her and proposed, and she smiled. Oh! That beautiful smile, I took her hand in mine and walked to the nearest beer pong tables to celebrate!

I met this totally hot chick at the social convention the other day. She was so cool, if I were to use adjectives from your jock-crowd. She had a job with the local television channel. Some production type thing.

So some days later, my friends had a party and I invited her. I was thinking of flaunting her a fair bit? Well, when we walked in, I saw two really huge beer pong tables. Looking back, I should’ve known that would’ve gotten me big trouble. But I was feeling pretty arrogant that night. I had a really pretty and smart girl on my arm, what could go wrong?

Plenty, as it were. Now beautiful and intelligent women do not date jocks like me. And they certainly don’t go for younger men. Oh yes. I had lied a bit to her. Said I was working for a media company myself (first thing that popped into my head!).

So there we were – me, my date, and the beer pong tables in furious action already. Lots of people were crowded around, knocking off beer like it was going out of fashion. I introduced her to some of my pals who were willing to play along.

It went fine for a while. And then calamity struck. She wanted to have a shot at the beer pong tables! They are having so much fun, she stated. And could I say no? Heck no! And it might just have increased my chances with her.

So I led her to the beer pong tables. In time, both of us got drunk. I know, it was pretty stupid of me. But who can resist a good bottle of beer? So after a while, we were both laughing ourselves silly over plastic glasses, when a classmate of mine shows up.

He vaults himself over one of the beer pong tables. He pauses for a while, and then starts a strip tease. The guys are all over themselves, but my date is horrified. This is so immature, she says. She isn’t as drunk as I think. This is just what a college jock would do.

I am still a little dazed at her change of tone, when a girl at her elbow speaks up, ‘Well, you come with one, what do you expect?’ the words have an instant effect. My date turns to the girl. She is very accurate in her question. ‘How do you know him?’ she asked, pointing a thumb at me.

‘Oh, he’s in my boyfriend’s class.’

The next thing I know, or rather feel is a great big huge slap. It was bigger than the sound that the beer pong tables made when they cracked under the dancing guy’s weight.

She left me holding my cheek by the now damaged beer pong tables. What can a man do when he’s been dumped?

Adults are overrated. No, really. They aren’t all that they are made to be. All they do is order people younger than themselves, and then blame each other if things go wrong. I’ve seen it myself. I have a series of stories. I call this one: ‘The Not-So-Bright Man and the Beer Pong Tables.’

My folks, adults themselves, therefore not to trusted, were going on a trip out of town. They hired a young man, to ‘look after us’ as they put it. My sister and I disliked him from the beginning. Our distrust deepened when we saw him calling up several people over to our house. He pulled off several tables to make what he called ‘beer pong tables.’

He shushed us off to bed, saying “cute” things like ‘Off you go now, goodnight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.’ As if we were eight! Which we aren’t, by the way. We left, but came back after awhile. The beer pong tables were swarming with more of the young man’s kind.

This silly game comprised of putting glasses and glasses of beer on the table. Then you tried to put a ball (which was mine) in it. If it went in, you could drink it. Pretty ridiculous, if you ask me. I did not understand why so many people would waste their time at the beer pong tables, when they could go anywhere and do anything, unlike us.

Our young man in particular was really ‘living it up’ as they say, at the beer pong tables. He was talking to a dark haired girl who seemed to be rather translucent. I find that people with no personalities are like that. Anyway, he appeared to be trying to be attractive to her by talking in a peculiar manner which was unlike him.

The functioning of the teenager is bizarre. They want to talk to people, but then invite so many that they can’t to all of them. They want to listen to music, but crank up the volume so high that nobody can dance to it. It the music that became the problem eventually, but ill get to that in a while.

I was beginning to get bored stiff watching the endless drinking at the beer pong tables. People getting high and then leaving the table, often running away to throw up. New, undrunk people joining and then leaving the same way. The door bell rang. At first, almost no one heard it. But I did. It’s my house, I always hear the door bell.

The music stopped abruptly as someone said ‘Cops!’ the people panicked. The huge beer pong tables were incriminating evidence bang in the middle of the living room floor. I hopped down the stairs.

‘Push the tables through the kitchen’ I said calmly.

They looked dumbly at me.

‘Push the beer pong tables through the kitchen door! The cops are going to see them!’

They followed orders immediately. I also told them to sit on the couches to hide the mess of bottles and god-knows-what. I opened the door. The cops were surprised to see me. I gently and firmly assured them that nothing was wrong, a good night to you officer.

Shutting the door behind me, I took my sister by the hand and went to bed. Its not nice to rub someone’s nose in anything.

We were really really bored. We had another exam left, one that was pretty easy and didn’t want to study anymore. We couldn’t start partying just yet. We certainly were not studying. So what could we do?

We had one thing which guaranteed us fun within our rooms. These were the beer pong tables I and my room mate, Alex, possessed. We had both pooled in and bought two. Right now, we were debating a game. We were thinking of who to invite.

‘Look at the beer pong tables man, they’re just calling out to us!’

‘We can’t have a party right now Al, we’ll never make it for tomorrow’s exam. You remember the last time, don’t you?’

‘Things don’t repeat themselves unless we do the stupid mistakes. We won’t call Don this time.’

‘We didn’t ask him last time either.’

‘Uhh, right. Well just put away the beer pong tables at one. They won’t be able to play anymore.’

‘And put them where?’

‘In the corridor?’

‘They are beer pong tables, not iron anchors! They will be broken before the night is out.’

‘Then let’s have the game elsewhere and carry the tables back when we want to break it.’

‘And where is that elsewhere?’

‘Hm, Josh’s room?’

‘Refer to previous argument.’

‘Could you repeat it for my benefit?’

‘No.’

‘OK’

Alex was silent for a while. I pondered on the color of our walls for the next five minutes. In the meanwhile, Alex got up and got himself a beer.

‘Don’t you think this beer would feel better if it was served from a beer pong table?’

‘Is some one having a party?’

‘We can if want, you know. We got the beer, the beer pong tables, as they are called. Specially made for the purpose. What say you partner?’

‘I say drink your beer and shut up.’

‘You’re no fun sometimes, you know.’

‘My girlfriend says that too sometimes.’

‘And you don’t pay any heed to that?’

‘People say a lot of things. The same way you are going on about the beer pong tables. But you need to choose what to listen to.’

‘Did your Dad teach you that?’

‘Don’t involve him. He’s got nothing to do with this.’

He was silent for a full ten seconds.

‘Say mate..’

‘Hm?’

‘How do you feel about a game on the beer pong table?’

‘I thought we already discussed that’

‘I was starting afresh. Thought you might feel more positive about it now.’

‘And why would that happen?’

‘Your Dad just got mentioned a while back. I thought you might get that warm family type feeling and say yes.’

‘No, I haven’t got that feeling. Not now and not ever.’

‘The beer pong tables beckon!’

I ignored him. The next time I heard him was the next morning when we woke up abruptly. Sometime during the conversation, both of us had nodded off, don’t know who went first. But we got late for the exam anyway. We both stared at the beer pong tables, as though they were responsible.

I was working at the bar that night. It was late and I was worried. Not because I was still at the bar, but because I didn’t have a place to go. I was so flat broke that my landlord threw me out onto the streets. I was sick worrying about myself. I was sweeping around the beer pong tables when the voice called out to me.

‘You there!’
I looked up to see a fairly middle aged man standing at the beer pong tables.
‘Yes sir’ I said.
‘Do you know how to deal a good game of cards?’
‘Am afraid not sir’ I was thinking to myself, Drunks Drunks!
‘Come here then,’ he said, ‘let me teach you.’

Now we have a rule for guys like these, hand them over to the bouncer. But this guy really hadn’t been a nuisance yet. He was just standing there, pushing the beer pong tables, which was beginning to groan under his weight.

So I walked over, but kept my distance. I glanced at the bar, where I served as a bartender. The others didn’t seem to notice.The beer pong tables are at the far corner of the floor, a bit away from the public eye. This was mostly because the games got really raucous and other clients complained. It was almost closing time and everyone was sort of packing up for the night.

I propped the broom against one of the beer pong tables and waited politely for the man to begin. He introduced himself as ‘Tom.’ He started to talk about his love for all games that involved cards. he explained the rules of games Solitaire, Hearts, Euchre, Spades, and Blackjack to me.
‘You name it boy,’ he said in his loud booming voice. ‘And I have mastered it.’

He laid out his pack of cards on one of the beer pong tables, and showed me different fancy ways to shuffle the deck. Finally, one of my fellow bartenders walked over and asked about me.
‘The boy will be fine!’ growled Tom. ‘I’m giving him an education here.’
My friend backed off and told me to be careful.

Tom went on for a while like this. I had to admit, there was much I hadn’t known. After a while, it became fascinating. Tom seemed to sober a bit. He no longer lurched at the beer pong tables. Near midnight, he left the bar. But not before he slapped his pack of cards into my hand.
‘Call me’ he grunted before he left.

What a lech! I looked around and everyone had left. I hoisted myself on one of the beer pong tables and curled to sleep. It was dark, maybe no one would see me.

I called Tom in the morning, against my better instincts. He simply said,
‘Now that you know how to deal a good game of cards, come and see me. I’ve got a job for you at my casino.’

After I got that job, I never had to sleep in a bar ever.

How long can you go on guzzling beer with no apparent aim? Not forever. So what must be done? These were some of the questions that we were discussing upon in my room. I was throwing a party for some of my friends from class. I could not decide what to do though. I had the perfect beer pong tables that had carried me through some awesome parties in the past. But that had been done to death.

So my pal, Thomas and I were planning to do something fun with the beer pong tables. We didn’t want too much rowdiness, since our girlfriends were going to be in too. And consequently pole dancing on the tables was ruled out. Though, it was really entertaining the last time. Perhaps, watching an obese guy stripping down to his basics might not be so pleasurable for the ladies.

Thom and I walked in circles around the beer pong tables, waiting for ideas to strike. Then I stopped.

‘How about other kinds of drinks?’ I asked.

‘Hm?’

‘Like martinis and stuff. Apart from beer’

‘I like the sound of that!’

We excitedly sat down together next to the beer pong tables. I though we could use the logic of darts. Different levels of drinks. The outermost being beer and something fancier at the center.

‘Like bowling?’ Thom asked.

‘Totally!’ I agreed.

We dragged chairs to the beer pong tables and drew up plans. Thom drew a rough diagram of a bowling ground. We arranged different drinks we could have and afford. I remembered to include my girl’s favorites and so did Thom. The ones inside were fancier, cocktails with combinations. Maybe the girls could have a game separately too. We had three beer pong tables, between me and Thom.

We were also thinking of fancier penalties for the losers. Something cooler than just shelling out money. But we ruled out any option that might damage the beer pong tables. ‘They must not be hurt’ Thom said sentimentally. ‘I hear you brother’ I replied, patting his knee. We finally took in the option of pole dancing. But within respectable limits. And that limit was when anyone told us it was too ugly to proceed.

We included blindfolded beer pong for the experts. They were some guys who really boasted about that. So we put that in. we also thought that perhaps we could substitute olives for pong balls. Like a tie breaker thing.

Things seemed to be falling into place. We went out and bought the alcohol. We set up the beer pong tables as we had planned. One for the girls, the others for the guys. We got fancy plastic glasses, no, no glass at all. Alcohol is alcohol after all. Everything was ready just in time.

Without doubt, my party was a hit with everyone. That was all I heard for the next few days. And boy, they couldn’t wait for the next! I finally managed to move beer pong games beyond beer.